Investigating Ivan (the Terrible) Durekovich

a.r.s., 1 Jan 1996

About a week ago, Ivan Durekovich appeared from out of nowhere, so I thought I would try to find out something about this loose screw.

So I started my investigation. Hopefully I didn't lose all my old G.O. skills.

It wasn't that difficult. The elusive Ivan had filled out a "Member Profile" with America Online.

Since I also have an account with AOL, I looked him up.

Here is what I found:

Screen Name: Durekovich

Member Name: Ivan Durekovich (apparently that IS his real name. I figured that, because I didn't think anyone would actually select it as an alias).

Location: Miami, Florida (just what I needed: 20 miles down the road and I've got this lunatic in my midst). Obviously he is attached to the Miami Org, either as Director of Special Affairs or Assistant Director of Special Affairs, or possibly CCHR Miami. (Citizens Commission on Human Rights is the Scientology shell group that "Handles" psychologists, psychiatrists and other "SP's."

Birthdate: August 25, 1955. A Leo. Okay.

Sex: Male.

Marital Status: Married (God, do I pity that poor woman --- unless he's married to Vera Wallace, in which case they deserve each other).

Computers: Pentium 90 Mz. (Gee, if the cult finds out you have a 90 Megahertz pentium computer, they'll make you hock it and make an A.P. (advanced payment) on your next step on the Bridge. You'd better not tell the registrar. Better to have a withhold than to lose your PC (computer, not preclear).

Hobbies: Hockey, Chess and Gambling. GAMBLING !!!!!! Ivan, go to Ethics immediately. You degraded being, you.

Occupation: Import / Export (Probably Body Thetans).

And this is a real killer: his personal quote: "I always keep a card up my sleeve."

Ivan, stick the card up your ass, because good things never hurt.

For any of you on America Online, check out this idiotic member profile before he changes it or denies it.

Well, Ivan, how do YOU like it when I make a fool out of YOU?

Reminds me of an old proverb: "When the shoe is on the other foot and you don't like the way it feels, go kick yourself in the head."

Gambling... cards up his sleeve....

You're "O.T." all right.... "On Tranquilizers."

I just thought everyone would enjoy seeing what a Member Profile of a not-so-bright OSA agent really looks like.

With Best Wishes,

Steve Fishman